Lonely...

Yeah... this feeling is sneaky and tiresome... It comes and goes, but when you are single, it always comes back! 

Today is one of these days when all goes wrong, and I feel very much lonely, and wish for someone to be here for me, to hug me, kiss me, and say it's going to be okay, baby... 

Yesterday, I had another date... Yep, it didn't turn out good... He was so not in my type, and that squeaky voice arghhhh!

I'm 29 and tired of being lonely... 

A blind date

Yes, I had a date. Totally blind date! I haven't had a blind date in like forever. Dating guys who I know how they look - sure. However, that didn't always mean they look good in reality. This guy today was not so bad :-) Tall, dark hair and eyes. Completely opposite of me. And you should know something about me - I love dating tall guys. I am pretty small myself but a man needs to be tall. I can't help it. But back to the date. It was simple coffee, not too long as he was going to work afterwards. I think he was more nervous than I was. I am not sure if he liked me. Let's wait and see if there will be date no. 2.

As for my dating track... not much to tell. Really. One serious relationship (and that was years ago). Some dating experience throughout the years but nothing serious. However, this spring I was seeing a guy. I was going to say really nice guy. But I stopped myself, as he is such a liar... Funny things is, there was a chemistry between us. Long story short, all was so good, but then suddenly he stopped calling, texting, just silence... Even blocked me on FB. Lucky me, I have the best friend in the whole world, and she checked him on FB, and it turned out he was seeing somebody else...  

And that's me and my dating experience.. And, no, I am not pitying myself. 

And I'll rise up....

 On Monday I start my two weeks of vacation (very needed and wanted), but am spending it at home. My friend changed plans and forgot we were supposed to go somewhere together, and going for a week with a total stranger is beyond my comfort zone... and here I am staying home and hmm... doing what? I know I know you will say pull yourself together and think! But if I don't want to think? I feel like most of the time I think to much, analyze too much, go too deep into simple things.. And that's me. But when you look at my life you'll know that not all can be simple and fun, that people are cheating and are dishonest, life has many colors and shades... and when you think you have it all in your hands, something happens and your only thought is what else?!

I know I don't sound too much positive right now, but that are my feelings. I am optimistic but at the same very realistic and down to earth. When people look at me they see some pretty girl with a beautiful smile, because I know that no one cares what I really feel. I learnt that a long time ago. 

"And I'll rise up, I'll rise like the day" - http://tinyurl.com/hv9ro9g

Here it goes

Hi...

first post, and what can I say.. I do not expect anyone to read this, or anything that I will post here. I just need a place to express my feelings, to bear my soul, and it's better to do it "on paper" than talking to someone.. . I know it sound bad, but I've never been good with words, speaking it, but writing, it comes to me naturally... so here I am to begin a new journey in my life. Let's see how it goes! :-)